I got back from Pix on Division the other night and realized that I did not eat cake. Hello. I must be insane- now I regret it! I do not regret, however, meeting Heather Reddy in the flesh.
I've seen her around in the internet ether, hosting interesting writerly events and posting crafty post-modern blogs. (oh, do check out her blog if you have the chance, sorrytobesoheavy.com) At the moment, she's using Okie kids babbling gospel in aramaic as a supporting point. How can you resist?
On the subject of our PDX movement, Heather made me think of a ton of different ideas. We talked at length about how one of the apparent PDX 2007/8 themes is fictional non-fiction and non-fictional fiction.
Why?
I really believe we are playing with the idea of authenticity and the impossibility of self-truth. Here's a snippet from a recentish post called "i spy on myself selectively"
"it’s strange, post freud or whatever, how little we trust our consciousness. that’s why, i guess, i have so many gigs of gmail, why i track my listening habits. there’s also this culture of covert surveillance being the best way to know about something. espionage is the new hard science. witness: all the damn overheard blogs, the popularity in metro areas of “missed connection” and “i saw you” ads. it’s like the nsa has taught us how to court each other (admit to cutesy stalking…?).
...so when you call me a liar, i know it doesn’t apply to this specifically, but i search for ways to pin it to myself in general, because freud makes me sure i don’t know myself and i’m pretty sure that even if i knew myself i wouldn’t be truthful with myself about myself: that is, i wouldn’t know that i knew myself, if that makes any sense. i guess it’s the nature of accusations: you either accept them or don’t understand them and which option you choose relates only distantly to whether they’re “true.” the worst is when you kind of do both and neither. maybe what i see in myself isn’t so much “lying” as “distrust,” and “distrust” is actually just a sincere emotion with which i happen to be uncomfortable." - (sorrytobesoheavy.com, Heather Reddy)
I seriously find this to be one of the most hilarious and insightful pieces I have read in Months.
Too many people have written either overly flattering things or overly horrible things in self-writing/memoir as of late, and James Frey is only the whipping boy for an entire industry of self-proclaimed angels and devils.
Spying on ones self creates in a sense a fictionalized character allowing the writer to treat the subject with a more realistic amount of love and disdain.
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